So You've Lost Your 9 to 5 - What's Next? OnlyFans?

 \Post 12\ 06.26.2026

Hello, hello, and hello. I hope all is well, or at least as well as it can be considering... you know.  

 

This year has DRAINED ME. We're only half way there and I've already had to learn how to walk again and have had multiple procedures and a surgery (hence the lack of an update). 

 

I had my surgical Jejunostomy tube placed and it has been Hell. Moving around, laughing, talking, coughing, sneezing, peeing, *attempting* to have a BM... it all hurts so very much and makes me feel like my insides are going to come out of my mouth. I spent weeks vomiting up LITERS of bile. It was like The Exorcist up in here; I thought my head was going to start spinning clean around! 

Anyhoo, existing right now hurts so much more than existing did before and I have chronic pain. I am wholeheartedly shocked and surprised that so many people have these tubes placed and just go on about their daily lives or return to work the following week of the surgery. I'm so nauseous all the time, I have to keep an emesis (vomiting) bag on me at all times. 

This leads me to the theme of today's post: I'VE LOST MY 9 TO 5. Yes, you read that correctly. 

 

The job I found where I only had to work 10 days per month to be able to fully support myself, receive free, high-quality, high-coverage health insurance, and afford my expensive medications is no longer mine. 

 

 I was told that "due to [my] requested medical accommodations" I would not be able to perform my job functions of answering the telephone, saying hello to patients, and updating medical records - all things that are sedentary, mind you. The specific accommodation they used as an example: "patient is unable to lift or pull 50 pounds." Let me preface this by saying the hiring team knew I walked with a cane due to mobility issues from my disability.

The HR manager explained that if I needed to transport a patient (neonatal ICU babies), or float to a floor that required me to perform patient cares I would not be able to do so. Yes - that is correct... BECAUSE IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR ME TO DO SO! 

Let's back up a little: I was hired as a Unit Clerk on a specialized intensive care unit floor for babies. Legally, the role cannot require direct patient contact, including cares and transport, because of the specialized patient population. In order to have those responsibilities, it requires a different job title and training program altogether. They explained this HEAVILY at orientation and during the training for the position, further stating that it would NEVER be a requirement for anyone in my role to provide patient cares or transport patients, regardless of any unit I may be floated to. Keep in mind, I worked this position for months without ever having to lift anything more than a few pounds and I was intentionally scheduled in low traffic areas when my energy was lower - extremely accommodating without me even asking. But once it's official that I NEED accommodations, the employer can no longer provide them. Isn't that funny? 🫠

So, where does that leave me? I am lucky I have patient advocacy to "fallback on" that I am passionate about. But what about those who don't have a flexible, remote work back-up plan?

Here is a list of a few remote, part-time roles that pay moderately well (for what they are), and can be flexible enough to work around unpredictable energy levels and hospital visits. 

 

 1. Freelancing if your energy is inconsistent

This is something I think EVERYONE should be doing, even if you have a 9 to 5. While freelancing can be challenging, it offers so much freedom! You choose the jobs and projects you want to take on and you're not bound by an office or permanent workspace unless you choose to be. 

 

 

photo source: pexels.com

 

You may be thinking, "Alia, what can you freelance?" - the answer: EVERYTHING 

A few ideas:

- social media manager

- data abstractor

- graphic designer

- research participant recruiter 

 

There are specific websites that cater to freelancers if you already have your niche. And if you don't have your niche figured out yet, that's okay too! There are all types of projects people need help with that may fit your skill set. 

Websites: Upwork, Toptal, Fiverr, Contra, Freelancer, Remote OK 

 

 

2. Customer Service Agent (Chat)

If you have a condition that makes it hard to be on camera (my condition makes me grimace or look like I'm pissed off due to pain flares and spasms) or you just  CANNOT get out of bed sometimes - this is a wonderful option. 

  

photo source: stockcake.com

 

Positives of being a Customer Service Agent (Chat):

- possibility of no phones!!!

- no offices

- usually a variety of shift options, including overnight and per diem schedules

- no cameras

 

There are a lot of major companies, like Walmart and CVS that post a lot of remote Customer Service Agent (Chat) positions on their career websites. But there are also a lot of medical device companies that hire remote Customer Service Agents (Chat) because they have such a high number of clients they service. 

 

3. Virtual Assistant

 If you love to organize - this one is for you. Virtual assistants usually have experience working with CRM tools, scheduling applications, doing research, maintaining email inboxes, organizing calendars, etc. 

 

photo source: istockphoto.com

 

You can also do this job remotely! You may have to use a camera every now and then and you may have to make phone calls... You'll likely be making phone calls. But you can also freelance this role! Meaning you can set your own prices for your work, provide the number of hours you're willing to work, and obtain jobs based on a portfolio you create.

If you're not looking to be a freelance Virtual Assistant, there are online job boards that are tailored to Virtual Assistant jobs.

Examples: Belay, Time Etc, Boldly 

 

 

Now, a word of advice: BE CAREFUL WITH LINKEDIN!!!!! 😭 

 LinkedIn has a ton of scam job listings, either from companies that don't exist, jobs that have already been filled but are being posted as new jobs, or just fake positions in general. Be intentional with your searches to weed out the fake listings.

 

 

Hopefully this post was helpful to some people! There are definitely jobs you can do intermittently if you're able to work but are unable to maintain a regular schedule. And obviously there are a bunch of other jobs out there that people with chronic illnesses can do, but I found that these were (seemingly) the least stress inducing based on my personal search.  For myself, I am in the hospital a bunch, so these things are hit or miss for me. BUT, I also have a terrible habit of working while in the hospital (I know, I know 🫠).

 

So what am I going to do now? 

✔️I'm going to start relaxing because I need to recover from this surgery

✔️I'm going to start reading the books on my TBR list

✔️I'm going to watch all the horror movies I've been saving for when I can eat popcorn again, because f*ck that, I should watch them now

✔️I'm going to start saying no to plans when I'm in a shit ton of pain  

✔️I'm going to stop being afraid of not finding a cure for all of my ailments

✔️I'm going to take life one day at a time

 That's it!   

 

Anyhoo, until next time everyone!

Remember: you deserve the world and then some✨🩷

 

Love,

Alia x